Grief is an intense emotion that can last for weeks and even months. When someone you know is grieving, it can become difficult to figure out how to offer support, acknowledge their pain, and ensure you are there for them during testing times. This is important as unprocessed grief can lead to mental disorders like depression, potentially dampening their expectations and hopes from life.
While outpatient mental health treatment can help a person recover from grief and restore normalcy in their lives, as a dear one, it is crucial to recognize that your support and encouragement will smoothen the process. But grief doesn’t always mean sadness. Other strong emotions, like anger, blaming self or others, and even persistent crying, can make it challenging to determine the best ways to support your loved ones.
If a loved one is going through grieving times, here’s how to show your unconditional support to them:
Mind What You Say
When offering support to grieving people, be cautious of what we express. Even if the person may seem composed on the surface, the magnitude of pain and suffering they could be holding onto is incomprehensible. Due to this, it is important to be kind and neutral with what you express.
It is also suggested that you use the deceased person’s name instead of generic statements such as ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’ If you are unsure if the person will feel hurt, limit your interactions and offer comfort by hugging or holding their hands. Grieving is unique for everyone, and even if you have prepared yourself, there’s always a chance you may not know what to do.
Don’t Add a Positive Spin
If the grieving loved one decides to confide in you with their fears, frustrations, and emotions, avoid giving the situation a positive spin.
For instance, if they talk about how the news hit them and how they are still struggling to understand what happened, avoid suggesting ways to cope. They are not necessarily looking for solutions but are instead venting about what is keeping them awake at night.
Check on Them Frequently
A grieving person often isolates themselves as they feel uninterested and unmotivated to enjoy the instruments of life. They may respond to your messages late (after days or weeks) or even refrain from answering your calls. Know that these actions are nothing to take personally; rather, take them as signs of isolation and social distancing.
Reaching out to them with simple texts reassuring them that what they are feeling is valid and that you are there to offer any kind of support they might need during this time. Make sure you are not over-promising anything you will not be able to deliver.
Avoid Comparing Your Experiences
Grief impacts everyone differently, and it is wise never to draw comparisons between your experiences and theirs. It invalidates what they are going through and makes them regret having the emotions they are experiencing.
To acknowledge their grief, telling them that you are sorry about what happened, checking on them at least once a week, bringing them food, and even helping them keep their home clean can be subtle but meaningful ways to show your support and love.
In addition to this, consider using your experience as a tool to provide warmth and comfort. Grief is often a rollercoaster of emotions; moving on with life can become a challenge without processing each.
Don’t Wait for the Right Time
Indeed, life gets busy, and while you have thoughts about your dear ones in the back of your head, it is crucial not to wait for the right time to check on them.
The delay may seem like a lack of care or consideration. It makes the person feel they are no longer valued merely because of the grief they are going through. Check on them whenever their thoughts cross your mind.
Bottomline
It is normal not to know how to support your loved ones as they grieve a loss. Being cautious not to draw comparisons, commenting on their physical appearance, and reaching out to them periodically can be wise ways to show you are there for them while giving them the time and space to open up about their struggles and recover.